Link is just about 11 months old, and is still nursing as often as possible (depending on my work schedule).  He has been exclusively fed breast milk since his 1st week of life.  He had some formula right when he was born due to his traumatic birth, and had some the first couple days of life because of his extreme trouble latching and I decided my very hungry, weak baby needed food.

Together, Link and I worked incredibly hard to make sure he had breastmilk.  Starting with me pumping and him drinking from a bottle, to us using a nipple shield to get him to latch, to finally him latching after a few weeks of life and them continuing to be a rockstar nurser ever since.

Once we figured out Link’s allergies to soy and dairy, I went off those proteins completely so that I could give Link the source of nourishment that I felt was best for him – breastmilk.  I started this breastfeeding journey with a goal of nursing him for a year, and that was before we had all of the issues.  I have continued to hold that goal despite how “easy” it would be to stop.  The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends “exclusive breastfeeding for about 6 months, followed by continued breastfeeding as complementary foods are introduced, with continuation of breastfeeding for 1 year or longer as mutually desired by mother and infant.”  Link’s doctor thinks it’s great that he gets breastmilk for a year.

So it really makes me mad when I look for sources on weaning to help us with the transition once he turns one, and they make me feel like a loser mom.  Continually I find sources that say “if you MUST wean him for your own reasons”, “if you have to wean him before he’s ready”, blah blah blah.  I feel like I have done an incredible job providing a healthy start for my son, and if I decide that it’s best for me, my son, and my family to stop after he hits one, I shouldn’t be made to feel like I’m being a bad mom.  It’s not like I’m going to stop and say, “no more mommy milk, have a Happy Meal”!  I will continue to feed him the healthiest choices for meals, and will work with his doctor to make sure he is getting the nutrients he needs.

Yes, I understand that if I breastfeed him until he’s “ready” to wean, that he will be getting a great source of nourishment, and a great source of comfort.  But I believe that I can provide him with comfort, nourishment, and everything else he needs without the use of my boobs.

The part of me I’m missing

Justin and I were looking back at our old blogs the other day, reminiscing. I realized that there is a big part of me that is missing since I had Link (possibly since before).  I’m missing my friends.

I never was one to go out and “party” per say, but I did spend many afternoons and evenings with friends, especially in the summer.  While we have all grown into greater selves than we were back then, I miss that part.  Don’t get me wrong – the best thing in the entire world to happen to me is Lincoln.  Overall, I have never been happier.

My sister, my sister in law, and my best friend all live in different states.  When I just need someone to talk to, someone to run to the store with, or someone to sit down for a margarita with, I no longer have anyone to call.

There is mom-Amber, and work-Amber, and wife-Amber, but there is no longer friend-Amber.  I would like that to change.

I do see changing this to be a challenge though.  First off, I work almost full time, have an internship, have grad school classes, and still need to find time to be a mom to my amazing 10 month old, a wife to my wonderful husband, and a child of God (which should come before everything else, but rarely does).  Finding time to be social among that schedule is next to impossible.  Second of all, I need someone to watch Link if I’m going to be social.  Justin won’t always appreciate that.  One solution would be to find more mom-friends that we could arrange play dates, and then “ignore” our children to socialize.  Another is to just be happy being.

There is no reason to feel sorry for me. I’m happier  than I have ever been.  Just something I realized today that I am missing.