i didnt know options needed to be left open….
‘Cause now again I’ve found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I’m so far down, away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I’m so far down, away from the sun again
I am sorry to say that today is one of my depressed days. I really hate days like today. I do not like hating my life. I do not like wishing things that I cannot have. Some times life just does not make sense. I am finding it hard to breathe, hard not to cry, and hard to not run far, far away. I do not have anywhere to run though. I do not think that I have anything more to say.
I am sitting here in the high school library. Today there is a pepfest. I am not sure why exactly I am going to attend this thing. I suppose I do not want to miss out on everything my senior year. The funny thing is, most seniors are not even staying. But I like pepfests for some reason. They are enjoyable to me. Now the trick will be finding someone to sit with… I think I will go find Sara and sit with her. Hopefully I can find her. I know one of the reasons I like going to these: I am a senior! And seniors are by far the best people in this school!Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. It is Justin and I’s first V-Day together, but it will not be our last. We are going to go out to eat. Probably at Red Lobster. I am not eating today, so I will have a good appetite. I just hope that I am not so hungry that I pig out on the bread! I should not tell Justin that I want a present. But he is so confusing! I told him not to get me anything for my birthday, and he didn’t. So I just told him the truth this time. Next time there is an occasion that calls for a present, I am going to tell him to surprise me. I thought I would take a moment to send a message to Rob: I hope you are having fun in sunny Florida. I also wanted to tell you that I enjoyed talking to you on Wednesday!I hate spending the night coughing. Even though I probably only coughed for ten minutes straight, it felt like it was all night. I did not go to school for Tuesday-Friday. I will start going again next week. But I was sick. I also should start studying more. I would like to clean my room in order to have a nice clean place to study, but who knows if that will happen. Justin: Can I have an online calendar attached to my website?I really never have anything to do on the internet. I suppose I shall go play games. Adios!
I am sick. So is my family and my boyfriend. I really hope I did not make Justin sick. I would feel bad. I do feel bad. Bronchitis does suck. If that is what I have. I do not like Justin being sick. That means he goes to bed early and we do not talk on the phone. I want him to sleep and get better, it is just harder for me to fall asleep when I do not talk to him first. Kinda silly, is it not? I think I am going to go downstairs now. Maybe sleep, maybe not. Bye.
Rob~ I like your new layout. I would tell you that in an email, but it is still not up. So hopefully you check this and see. Life is pretty steady. The sooner I move out, the better everything will be. I am a horrible daughter you see. Tonight we are doing stuff with Nikki. YAY!! I love Nikki and I miss her a lot, so it is good to see her.I am going to go do one of 3 things: 1)Take a shower
3)Something else…I will update later. Bye!
Hours that is. I have to work today at 4, so I am just going to hang around school instead of going home. The roads are so icky, that I would get home and have to turn around and come back. Eh… that is life. So I will hang out here.I wish it was closer to June. But that is okay. I can handle a few more months until I graduate. I just do not want to. I was working on scholarships this morning. Rather uneventful. I applied for a couple, and stuff. You know… sitting here for 5 hours is not going to force me to do homework. So I will just do it anyways. Happy days to you.