Indecent Proposal

Guess what I am?! Isn’t that interesting? Thanks Beth for the link! So why am I updating again today? Because it seems like the right thing to do. I talked to Celeste on the phone for half an hour! It was really nice, and something that hasn’t happened in a while. You know what I have realized? That two of my best friends, Jon and Nikki, do not go to the same school as me. Sarah and Maria do, but are in a different grade. Jake is in my grade, but goes to a different school, and Andrew is a year younger, as is Angela. Justin is a year older and goes to a different school, and Richard goes to my school, but also exceeds me in age. So why am I telling this? Because I fear being alone throughout the next couple years in school. Oh sure, I will have some friends, but who? And who will I sit by at lunch? And why is this the first year ever that I have actually worried about sitting alone at the school table? Well, I have no answer for those questions. But you know what? If I end up sitting alone, I really don’t care. Because even though I will be the best I can be, that is all I can be. BUt onto bigger and better things. Jon called me today. We talked about Starlight, and pop rocks, and Les Pauls. He said that he wished he was at home playing his guitar. And at that moment I realized that I wish I was with him listening to the beautiful music that he makes. But now my mom wants me to go watch Indecent Proposal with her now. So adios!Song: California by Wave


I never really know how to start off entries. I usually have things to say, but I don’t want to go right into them. But now I will.I had an awful dream last night. My ex-best friend decided to be my friend again, and then she totally left me. My boyfriend stopped talking to me all together. And no one would talk to me. The only person there to comfort me was Kyle. I woke up almost in tears. I think the reason behind this dream was the fact that Jon never called me last night. Which was really fine, because I am sure he was too doped up on Vicodin. But on to happier things.Last night my mom came in my room just as I had fallen asleep and announced that it was snowing. I told her she was full of it, but she insisted. And me, being vulnerable at that moment, looked out the window, to find no snow. As I turned back to yell at her, she had gone out of my room and was laughing hysterickly. (That is spelled wrong.) Then she came in and told me a lot about her problems, which I really didn’t listen to, and I kicked her out so I could sleep.I cannot fall asleep with the television on. Unless what is on is music videos. But I cannot fall asleep with the radio on. How do you explain that?Justin, thank you for what you said about me and Jon. It was nice. I think it is interesting that Jon and I have been going out for 2.5 weeks, and we have only had one date, which was on the night he asked me to "go out with him." But I really don’t care about the date thing, I just love being with him.I have been eating really weirdly lately. I eat small portions at meals, but then I get the munchies. And then I make myself too full. So I am making myself angry.But anyways. I have no idea what the future holds for me. I have many ideas about what I want it to hold, which I am not going to share on this thing because it is really personal. But my "future" seems so far away. But I don’t want it to be. I don’t think I want to wait until after college to actually start my life. After high school sure, but after college seems so far away. But you know what, with present company, I am not worried about how long I have to wait. With present company, I haven’t really worried about anything that I used to worry about. Things just all seem so perfect.So…. about other things now. Well, there isn’t really anything I feel like talking about, so adios!Song: "The Good Stuff" by Kenny Chesney. Listen to it!