Planning the Next Move

I am having the absolute hardest time deciding what I want for my future.  The basic question is: go to grad school or do not.  It seems like it should be a simple decision: go to grad school.  There are just so many more factors to this decision that are making it hard for me.

I have always wanted to be a mom.  Since I was about 3, it was what my plan was for the future.  Be a mom, raise kids, and be happy.  Growing up, that is all I wanted to be, even through college.  I changed my mind about a million times regarding the major I wanted and finally settled on history.  I would absolutely love to work in a museum of sorts sharing history with the world, but I also feel like I would love to be a librarian.  To be a librarian, I need to get a masters.

I want to have kids right now and Justin wants to wait a little longer.  I know that he is right about waiting a little longer.

If I do not go to grad school, our plan would be to start having children in 2-3 years.  If I do go to grad school, we would likely wait 4-5 years.

If I go, we could have more money long term, have the potential to have more children.  If I don’t go, money would be tighter and we wouldn’t have as many kids most likely as I want to have.

If I do not go, there is a chance that I wouldn’t have to work as much but if I go, I wouldn’t want to waste my masters.

If I do go, I add ~$23,000 to my student loan debt.

Every one (mostly) I know is telling me to get my masters.  They tell me to even if they don’t know what the decision is.  I agree that this is the most logical decision, but every time I think more about it, my heart hurts.  I am reminded of the years I would have to wait to hold my child in my arms.  I know 5 years is nothing, but I just am unable to imagine waiting that long.

I feel like God is telling me to go for it, to further my education.  But I am just so scared that it is the wrong decision.

3 thoughts on “Planning the Next Move

  1. my sweet darlin future mama. I must be in the minorty, because I can’t see why you’d spend that kind of money on grad school just to shelve the whole thing to have kids. I can only speak from my experience but, I did the grad school thing for a while and when my second baby came along, I realized I just wanted to be home with the kids that aren’t always as easy to have as one would think. Later, when they became school age and I could continue my masters, I’d decided I wanted to do something entirely different! The plain truth is, you can plan all you want, but you just never know what the future is going to hold. I know it sucks to graduate college during a recession and feel like there is no forward motion cause jobs aren’t coming and it’s not time for kids yet – BUT, is forward motion always the goal? Consider the difference between contentment and complacency. They are not the same and you are not a failure if you don’t have a grand education. I’m just sayin’. In the end, God decides and we fall in line. You can go to grad school now and He may pull the plug for some reason or He may bless it. You can’t lose either way. Just remember, there isn’t always one way. Love you!!!!!

  2. Amber-

    being a mom myself…and knowing alot of things about kids needs I think that great go a head and have some kids but have things lined up better like if you know that you are not going to be able to provide for your children then wait don’t have kids intel you are going to be able to provide for them without working the other hand an education is something you will have for the rest of your life. Remember you can always have kids later and enjoy you first cupple of years married to justin alone in some peace well you can sure kids are graet but you are young and it’s your chance now to have some fun well you are young with justin without worrying about the kids take advantage and remember you can always have kids later, I wish I would have waited a few more years but am happy that I have two great sons:) I know it’s hard to deside:)

  3. its an easy answer. (“wait”) get your masters, more money 4 your children to grow up on and support them with.
    “good things come to those who wait.”
    think of their future the slums or a quality house good education safe place to grow an area 4 them to learn an understand the hardships of life and the good points that come with the bad.
    “patience bears infinite rewards and infinite sorrows.”
    “act when ready and prepared, no sooner or later.”

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