One of the weirdest new things in my life is to have the word family not include my parents and sister. While they are still my family, I have a new family now that includes Justin and I. Getting married has been a huge adjustment and we are finally getting into the normal routines of our lives.
I have been thinking a lot about my future since school has started. There are so many things that I can imagine doing to further my career and schooling. But all I can think of right now is how much I do not want to work anymore. I am 22 years old, and I have been working for the past 10 years. Before I started working I did chores that included cleaning my house, cooking dinners, and watching my sister. I have been working hard for many years, and I know that I am not more special than anyone else and a lot of people have worked many more years than I have. I just want to be done. I want to stop working and stay home and take care of my self and my house. I want to have children and dogs and fish and bearded dragons, but first I want to have a year of doing nothing.
I cannot even remember not being tired. I have been tired for so long that my health has been greatly affected by it. The latest issue is my eye is tremoring. Underneath my eye shakes almost every five minutes and has been for the past five days.
Getting to the point where I do not have to work is a hard path that I cannot do on my own. I definitely do not want Justin to have to work harder so that I can have the life I want.
I just have to wait a bit longer. I am happy. I love Justin and I love being married to him. I have a great house, great family, and a wonderful kitty.
I am happy, just not happy enough.