i changed my mind as to updating more. so i will update more. :-)i do not feel like watching my grammar, spelling, or anything else. except everything will still be perfect, except for capitalization. that is the one thing that i will let go, for i hate bad grammar and spelling. i cannot even spell something wrong on a rough draft even though it would be caught by spell check. lately, i have been speaking out loud what i am typing. i am not sure why, i just do. i applied for another job today. if i get the job, that would mean no more drycleaners or 7th heaven/everwood night. i wonder how justin would feel about this. i really do not know. i am sure he would be okay with it, as it would give him more time to do the things that he needs to do. i would miss them, but there is always vcr recording. we can find other things to do. i actually doubt that i will receive the job, seeing as i do not have the best of luck getting jobs. i suppose having 3 in the last 5 years is either good, or bad. one of them lasted the whole 5 years, because it was at my mom’s salon. i do not know if i have let you all know yet, but i am going to go to St. Thomas next year for college. i am getting really excited about this. i am not sure why though. i never really wanted to go to college. but it is making me happy to think that i will be able to earn a great education. i would love to be able to go to harvard, but that is a little over the top. maybe one day if i get the chance, i will transfer, but that is not in the cards yet. (fyi, i do not believe in ‘in the cards’, i just said it for effect.) anywho, i will be living in the dorms. St. Thomas is a very expensive college. i am going to need to work my butt off to earn scholarships, grants, and hopefully i will not need any loans. i need to start saving a lot more money than i have been. this is something that i will be praying for.christmas is only a couple of weeks away. i am rather sad that i will not be able to spend it with Justin. i would really like to. i will not be going to nebraska with him. my mother will not allow me to. i really do not care about what she says, and i would rather not listen to her. she has reasons that make it sound like i cannot make anyone sad on christmas, but my feeling do not count. she says that me being away for christmas would make her, my dad, my sister, and the rest of my family very sad. personally, i think that they would get over it. but i do not want to be the one to make anyone upset, especially this christmas, when we have already lost someone who means so much to all of us. i will need to sacrifice my happiness for them. i most likely would not have been able to go to nebraska anyways. i suppose it is for the best, because i am not officially part of Justin’s family yet. it will be good for me to learn to handle being away from him for about a week. christmas is a hard time for me to learn this, but there are many more christmases in the future. making the decision as to where i am going to college, is rather overwhelming to me. i am hoping that i will do very well in all of my classes. i do not want to let anyone down, and there are people that i want proud of me. this will be a hard thing to accomplish. but i will just do it. i would like to take this paragraph, and thank Derek. i want to thank him for caring about me. i do think that i will send him an email simply thanking him.now i would like to thank Alex for all of his help lately with my questions about St. Thomas.Nikki deserves a thank you also. thank you for the christmas present. thank you for taking me out for appetizers. thank you for simply being there and caring about me.lastly, i want to thank Justin. thank you for wanting to help. thank you for caring. thank you for loving me. i love you very much.i would like to roast chestnuts on an open fire someday. i will go now and get ready for the concert i will be attending. as one person would say, fair winds.
I am going to one of my little Trinity girl’s choir concerts tonight. My mom was going to go with me, but she is sick and went to Urgent Care. I asked Nikki to go with me, but she is at Concordia, so that is fine. So I will be going all alone. That kind of makes me sad, for I do not really like going alone. But that is okay.I am honestly not in the mood to update. I am in a pretty good mood, but not to update. Fare well.