Some Days

Boy. Where to start. So I don’t even have much to say. It just has to be said. I need to say it. There isn’t anything specific either, I just need to write. I don’t like this off and on crying. My stomach hurts. My throat hurts. My eyes hurt. My head hurts. I don’t like not being able to talk to him because of Julie. I don’t like not knowing what I do know. I don’t like being alone. I don’t like not knowing alone. I am envious. I have wanted to live on a farm since I was 2. I don’t think I really ever told anyone this. It has been one of my biggest dreams. I wanted to get up every morning with a purpose. I wanted chores. I wanted to spend my day helping form God’s wonder. I wanted to be. I don’t know how easy it is just be on a farm. But it sure would be a lot easier to just be than here in Woodbury. Everything is so busy all of the time. Money is the center. I hate it. It is ridiculous. I don’t like missing him. I don’t need to miss him. I don’t need him. But I do. Who is there to make everything all better? I need a hug. I need someone to hold me. I need someone to wipe away my tears. I need to fly away in their arms.I need to be.


So all that tree-mappin’ you saw yesterday? Well, all of those pictures, minus a few unimportant ones, are now uploaded! I hope you are proud of me! My day is good. Swimming and tanning at Nikki’s. A stop at the church. Kidnapped Nathan. Applebee’s/Target. Returned Nathan. Mervyn’s. Returned Nikki. Drove Ash to Alex’s. Target. Picked up Mom. Uploaded. Talk to the sweetheart. Talked to Celeste. Uploaded some more. Listened to my favorite song the whole time. Finished Uploading. And now I shall start designing my new layout. Have a nice day.


I saw 8 green Explorers today. 6 of them looked like the same year as Justin’s. It wasn’t fun.