A Prayer

Dear Lord,
Please help me to know that you have a plan for me. Let me know that it is not in your plan for me to attend Concordia. Let me know that maybe I am not ready for a position at Sonshine. Help me have faith that you will put a man in my life that is supposed to be. I pray that whoever it is, they are my best friend. Please help me to not cry whenever I think about these things. Please keep the people in my life that I need. Please help me get through the last few weeks of school. Help me behave responsibly. Please don’t let me do anything stupid that I will regret. Lord, let me praise you always.
In your name, Amen. Yet I Will Praise
I will praise you Lord, my God
Even in my brokenness, I will praise you Lord
I will praise you Lord, my God
Even in my desperation, I will praise you Lord
I can’t understand all that you allow
I just can’t see the reason
But when life is in your hands and though I cannot see you
I choose to trust you
Even when my heart is torn, I will praise you Lord
Even when I feel deserted, I will praise you Lord
Even in the darkest valley, I will praise you Lord
When my world is shattered and it seems all hope is gone
Yet I will praise you Lord
I will trust you Lord, my God
Even in my loneliness I will trust you Lord
I will trust you Lord, my God
Even when I cannot hear you, I will trust you Lord
I will not forget that you hung on a cross
Lord you bled and died for me
If I have to suffer, I’ll know that you’ve been there
And I know that you’re here now
Even when I feel deserted, I will praise you Lord
Even in the darkest valley, I will praise you Lord
When my world is shattered and it seems all hope is gone
Yet I will praise you Lord

Brick

I’m feeling more alone
Than I ever have beforeSo this has been a very long, yet productive week. Tuesday and Thursday were spent raising money doing garage sale stuff. Friday I sold Krispy Kremes at the parking ride from 5-7am in the pouring rain. Then school. After school Friday I cleaned, went garage saling, and then had Movie Night at my house. I was able to see the Matrix for the first time. It was pretty good, yet somewhat confusing. We then brought my computer up to MSA. Saturday it was up for breakfast with Justin at 6:45am. Then I went up to church and sold more Krispy Kremes on the street corner. Went garage saling with dad, and Justin came over and gave us our computer back. Then we headed up to church and went to the metrodome to work the Twins game. It was a lot of fun. I was Justin’s lackee! He did very well, even though he gave a customer $2016 worth of change. Then back to my house and Justin and I went in the hot tub and he fixed the computer some more. Today is Sunday. Got up to church at 8:15am. I brought up 150 boxes of Krispy Kremes and sold donuts. I returned home about half an hour ago after stopping quick at Target for a Mothers’ Day present for mi mama. Then tonight is High Praise practice and youth worship. Why do I feel alone? Life is confusing. I just don’t understand. Lately I just feel alone . Whenever Nikki is around, that helps. I feel unwanted. Sonshine doesn’t want me. Concordia doesn’t want me. I think maybe things will be better when school is out. At least I hope it will be better. I just don’t know. I am very super confused right now. I really do not know where my life is headed. It is complicated I guess. And I have lumps on my legs, which I really do not like. They hurt. I am doing bad in school, I am fat, and I am sick. I don’t understand my stomach aches. I don’t understand why people say they love you but they don’t. I don’t understand how to become a best friend. I don’t understand why there is rejection. I don’t understand why I cannot get a third ear piercing or my nose pierced. I don’t understand why my mom won’t let me skip school to earn money. I understand that I have friends that want me. I understand that God can help me through anything. I understand that school is almost over. I understand that my family loves me. I understand that I have a lot of things to look forward to in the next couple months. I understand that Nikki thinks it will work, and if she thinks go, then maybe it will. Even though I feel alone, I am glad that I am not. I hope things will work out, but it is in God’s hands. I need to learn to let go and let God. The world is sleeping
I am numb