Sometimes you just have to kick yourself in the face, but other times someone has to do it for you. I thought a lot today, and I also cried a lot. Derek is right I think, not about all things, but about a lot. I hope tonight is good for me. I think I am going to need Dirk’s help with fixing my life. To be honest, I didn’t know it was broken. I apologized to Sarah, and even if it isn’t something I wanted to do, I needed to do it. I am sorry to Sarah, Anders, Katie, and Nikki. On to other things. Today I went to WalkAmerica, a walk for premature babies. I walked five miles. Then on the way home I passed a little boy selling KoolAid. He looked really sad, like no one bought any yet. So I looped around the street, pulled out a dollar and bought some from him. His face lit up and his mom thanked me. I felt good. Not for me, but for him. Because I am sure he was trying so hard to raise money for something, and sometimes you just need a little help. I miss Jon very much. I haven’t seen him since Wednesday, and I know that isn’t very long, but I still do. I realized about an hour ago that today is Jon and I’s nine month. He didn’t remember either, so it’s ok. There have been so many things on my mind, and I was thinking about it in the past weeks, but at some point I just forgot. I seem to have a problem with these posts, I never have enough to say. So I will tell you about my weekend. I went to Concordia University this weekend. It was great, I learned a lot. And I know that I definately want to be a Lutheran teacher. Then yesterday Justin, John and I went to Red Lobster. It was delicious. But I should go now, I have to have dinner.Dear God, thank you for letting us not only to smile with our faces but also with our hearts.