Confusion

There are a lot of things in this world I just do not understand. I don’t understand why I sit around crying about things that I don’t need to be crying about. I don’t understand why when I am doing a job as well as I can, I still do things wrong. I don’t understand why I love going to church but I don’t know why I go. I don’t understand why heaven is forever. I don’t understand why I put up with certain things. I don’t understand love. I don’t understand why I am in the mood to bake cookies. I don’t understand how after sleeping 18 hours, I feel wiped out. I don’t understand why I can’t feel sorry for myself.But then there are things that I do understand. I understand tough times. I understand death. I understand why the flowers bloom in the spring. I understand love. I understand how I can care for someone so much. I understand Justin (usually). I understand friends.There are so many weird things in life. Some I understnad, some I don’t, and there are some that one day I will understand. But for now, I guess I don’t need to understand everything. I have to realize that even when they don’t show it, people care about me. That when I am hurting, I need to talk to someone about it. I cannot keep everything inside. I need to know that my pain will go away. God is always watching over me. He loves me at all times. I will never become a burden to Him. I hope I never become a burden to anyone. You know what Justin, I hope that someday he is my best friend, and that he will wake up next to me every morning, and that our bond will become stronger. And Justin, THANK YOU for always being there for me, and for putting things into perspective. I don’t know what I would do without you.